The Dork Files, Part 2: Deriving a coffee shop

February 2nd, 2009

Look, this isn’t a brilliant post. Neither was the experience that led me to write it very unusual. So don’t read on if you’re expecting some sort of pent-up greatness because I never update this blog. I’m only writing this because I’m happy; I was able to validate a hypothesis quite elegantly. Namely, that under certain circumstances, it is possible to derive the nature of a coffee shop from nothing more than its name and location.

I sit now in Golden Roast, a coffee shop in Knoxville, Tennessee. As I was coming up to Knoxville on I-40, I decided I wanted to do a bit of surfing “the tubes,” as Mr. Stevens so oddly called them.  So naturally, I pulled out my iPhone, and googled coffeeshop in Knoxville. I was presented by a plethora of options, from gas stations, to Starbucks, to Denny’s.

Where to go? I do not have T-Mobile, so Starbucks and its Hot Spots are out. Anyway, they burn their coffee and their  pastries leave something to be desired. However, there was another option. Knoxville is home to the University of Tennessee, and where there are college students, there will be places for them to study. Today, that means either a library or a coffeeshop with internet. Being who they are, college students will also avoid Starbucks, and instead gravitate toward independent coffeeshops near their university. And since so much of college now depends on going online, to encourage their patronage such independent coffeeshops will probably provide free WiFi to customers.

I therefore picked the coffeeshop closest to the university that was not named Starbucks or Peet’s, hoping that it would have both WiFi and good pastries. And here I sit at the Golden Roast, self-evidently online (and also fully pastried).

Entry Filed under: Pointless Musing, The Dork Files